Well, a bad Reso test, unending lectures, Sem exams, and a bored person. You would normally expect a normal person to be depressed, tired, suicidal but I came up with something rather innovative.
I decided to be a misanthrope and become immortal, like the likes of John Keats, Wordsworth and a few others worth their words. I decided to write a piece which I hope will someday be used as a tool by a sadistic and grim English teacher to torture the miscreants of her class. :D
So here it goes. This topic is rather close to my heart, in fact very close to my heart. I´ve never spoken about this to anyone in the fear of being beaten up or badly bruised. I somehow gathered some courage today to dedicate one to this extraordinary (or extra ordinary, as you fancy it) group of people. :D
Disclaimer:
There is no sort of malice intended in this article, nor any ridicule of social customs, just a light hearted humor of some of the most intriguing people on earth. :)
Caution:
1)If your a Bong with a grumpy sense of humour, please stay away.
2)Follow the first one for my well being. :P
I would define a Bong as any person with marshmallow-like eyes and even bigger specs. But this definition seems rather shallow, and doesn´t take into account those chinky eyed babes in town, so I modified it. Let us call a person a Bong if he does any of the below..
His surname is either very short or very long. Mr. Dey, Mr. Pal (suave and gentle to the ears) and Mr. Chattopadhyay, Miss Bannerjee.(not similarly suave to the tongue).
If he thinks his daughter should be married to an engineer who works for a bank.
If he is the reason for the price hike in oil in India. (Don´t mind please :P )
If he has a photo frame of Jyoti Basu in his bedroom.
If he thinks Mamata Banerjee is a PERFECT railway minister.
He travels by train to prove the above proposition.
He´d rather commit suicide than spend a Sunday without fish.
His eyes are large as potatoes or small like those of the fish he eats.
He tells you rather gleefully that Chatterjee is the short form of Chattopadhyay.
If he has the capability to turn Bhargav into Vorgab and Bharati into Bhodoti.
He can´t live without sweets, and his shape and size betrays this fact.
He can make a Vada Pav turn big by calling it Bada Pav. :|
He has atleast a thousand family friends.
He knows each of their names alongwith degrees, hobbies, marks et al perfectly well.
The person can ruin the best of names by changing them into food items. Sharva into Shorba, Sharma into Shawarma.
Size of the bindi= constant * Size of the ear, where constant =1.
After amusing you with the Chaterjee-Chattopahyay thing, he also insists Bhattacharya is the short form of Bhattacharjee.
When you need the storage space of two contacts to store one name.
When he appreciates Shongeet.
Robindro Shongeet. (which I may add, I love :) )
When he exaggerates a simple dew drop as JoloBindo.
.
.
.
And after coming to the end of it, I realize this is going nowhere outside my Facebook notes and blog, and any English teacher will cringe at the sight of anything like this. So this better not be read by Mrs. Basu, Mrs. Kar, or Mrs. Mukherjee and I better get back to loving physics than doing a thesis on a race which amuses and puzzles me both to the same extent. So Bong brothers and sisters, and others too :P , I´ll get back at you some time later, till then LOBE YOU ALL! :D
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