Saturday, June 20, 2009

A picture perfect evening..

Arrival of the monsoons. I get out of class. Chaitanya, Omkar and me. A super chemistry lecture with photoelectric theory and what not stuffed in our teeny weeny brains. The weather is nice. Very nice. Dark clouds, wet roads and a cool breeze. We decide to go and grab some hot bhajjis. We get some. Sit and have a chomp till the last microscopic bit from the paper vanishes. Then its time for burning hot tea. Wow! Masala chai cutting at such a time is heavenly. It's one of those things which you won't really love till you have them at the right time. This is precisely the right time.


Chaitanya and Omkar leave. I go to catch my 7:30 bus. Plug in my headphones with some old classical blues or rock song ringing. I don't know what it is between Hendrix and me. The queue is horrible. A lady is pushing me from the back. Strong jabs into my lower abdomen. And it is then that Hendrix starts singing, “American Woman, stay away from me!”. Woh, Mr Hendrix. At this time I so wish it was me who was singing it aloud. I enter the bus. Luckily, place to sit and a a nice window seat too. Now starts the most relaxed time of the day. Cool breeze, music and me to myself..


The first song is Wake Me Up- Greenday. Thoughts wander. My eyes close. I want to take a trip down memory lane, hoping last November might never have happened. All the past comes up. It brings with itself a fleeting sense of loneliness. If not loneliness, still some sense which I don't quite like. I seriously start thinking.. God, Wake me up when these foolish thoughts disappear..


I change the song. It says Tum Ho To.. I start to think about college, girls.. Finally, college has begun. Brought with it a couple of nice girls. :-P My mind is going nuts. Could i work things out with one of them?! Some look really gorgeous, some are really sweet. Could my girl be one amongst them?! Oh my God! I'm thinking too much. I think of Megha, whether she would help me get acquainted with one of them. :-D i hope she'll do this for me. After everything she has done throughout, this is probably nothing. I only hope.. Thats where it ends..

My Express Music wants me to listen to something else. The song switches to Love Story-Taylor Swift. I feel she is desperate. Frankly. Why else would she shout out,”Its a Love Story, BABY JUST SAY YES”!! Yes Yes. I understand. Desperation makes men go mad. And women like taylor Swift too. But in spite of all this, I still don't know why i like that song?! Maybe the rain has wiped off my rationality. Who cares?! I go on enjoying her sweet (but yea, still desperate) voice.


Then comes Nagada Nagada from jab We Met. This song makes my feet go haywire. They shiver. They want to dance. They move to play football. God knows what happens to me when I listen to drumbeats.. I feel like playing football, dancing, scoring beautiful goals.. i suddenly think of The Holy Trinity; Messi, Henry and Etoo. How awesome would it be to score a goal in the UCL final, get a salute from the Holy Trinity.. this small piece of fantasy gives unexpected pleasure to my tired brain. I smile to myself. Half of the people in the bus think I'm mad. Let them feel so. I'm sure as hell enjoying myself.


Roobaroo, Rahman, magic, and what he does best. The “Poo Poo Poo” is too good. The chord brings back memories of good old days when I had time to strum the guitar. Suddenly, i have an irresistible urge to play the guitar, to perform on stage, to sing out aloud..



Summer of 69. immortal. Pure, simple delight. My mind is completely free to roam now. I'm so happy to be sitting in the window of the bus. A cool breeze. Great, wet road. People scampering along. Maybe the only 20 minutes of the day when my mind is totally JEE-free. Oh, the JEE! Apart from JEE, many things to talk about, let's move on..


Ironically, the last song of my journey is Paradise City. How i hope Paradise city did exist! Where the grass was green and the girls pretty.. :-P Oh no, Atharva, not girls again.. I tell myself. Just then the bus stops. I get down. Unplug my earphones. Get down and walk the road back home.


20 minutes, no tension. Just thoughts. Pleasurable thoughts. Some not-so-pleasurable thoughts. But still, what matters is those 20 JEE-free minutes, some crap to write in my blog and some more shite to have your eyebrows in an arch..

Sunday, June 14, 2009

In Pursuit of happiness..

I've read many blogs till date. About life, the journey, Life, the goal, Life what not! Maybe i'm wrong but i disagree with each and every one of them. Life, according to me, is a moment! A moment which in less than a blink turns upside down and up again. At one moment, we see ourself as the perennial loser and the next as a winner, for the smallest of good jobs we have done.


It was, It is and it shall always be true that it is the “small” things that really matter in life. The “pseudo-huge” stuff is something that hardly matters to us. We drink, we eat, we shit. Is that what we live for?! We rub our buttocks off to get into an IIT or into a med college, but ask yourself “Is that your goal in life?”. The answer, I'm sure is crystal clear. It is obviously not your goal. Your goal is something different. It isn't about education, money or family. It is living the moment tension free. That is not wrong, that is how it should be. Only recently did I know how confusion defines life and how we ourselves know in some corner of our heart that it is not our long time ambitions but our momentary goals which give us true happiness.


In pursuit of happiness, man loses his emotions, relations, friends and everything he thought was a hindrance between him and his goal. Only after completing his pursuit does he realize that those “hindrances” were actually the stuff he was always craving and living for. Our pursuit for glory, bliss, Nirvana will never end. It is like going towards a mirage. The horizon will always show a silver lining. You fail to understand that that silver lining is actually the brightest of horizons. Only reason why you see it as a line is because of the tears obstructing your eyes. Tears of sadness, despair, about the fact that you will never reach your goal. By the time you realize they are tears and you wash them off, night might already have set in and it may have been too late.


Once I saw a poor man working tirelessly on the streets. The mid day sun was shining with all its might. The laborer was toiling with all his remaining strength. I asked myself, “He's so poor. God knows what his goal in life is. What does he have to live for?!” As if wanting to answer my question, a small child came up to the man. The man looked up, gave a broad smile and lifted the child in his arms. He kissed the little girl on the cheek and the girl returned it. That was when I realized how wrong i was. This man may not be a millionaire but to me the smile that came on his face after that was a million dollar smile. One which maybe not even the richest of people could buy. No amount of money could buy it. Only a perception of this dark world which could make the most horrible of circumstances lead to bliss..


So lost are we in this false world that we forget what true happiness is. As a child, we always wanted to grow up. Now we realize that broken toys and incomplete home work were far better than unfulfilled dreams and broken emotions. What we want is praise, money, nice food, clothes.. And so on. What we toil for is drinking stale soup in a five star lobby. But we never look out of our window to look at the most simple and profound of pleasures.. The bright sky, the infinite stars, the trees, the birds, the whole world!!


So stop hankering for appreciation, praise and money. Stop following the ever distant mirage of “happiness” and look at the “bliss” standing near us.. Right beside us.. May you live a happy life.. May God bless you you be “blissful”, not only happy.




Thank You.




PS- A tad too philosophical but yea.. i wrote that piece of art myself..!

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Old “Item” - An elegy.

Dedicated to all those who were so used to seeing me with my old “item”.. including family, friends, and others.



“Item” you could call her. Or maybe “Chunni” as i used to. Whatever you call her, I may tell you frankly that i was deeply in love with her! Agreed, she wasn't as hot or spicy as my friend's items but yet i loved her a lot. A LOT! She was just so... uhhh.. WOW! I mean, I could spend my whole day with her and still not get tired. But then, all good things must come to an end and so did our relationship. Ironically I dumped her. The reason- My perceptions about her changed.


My perceptions after all the “love” crap ended.. Her teeth weren't white anymore. Infact there was not even a shade of blue tooth! She was black and white. I mean black all over with white in patches. Just like you get when you put pieces of paneer in Dal Makhani. :(( Even my Old “Item”'s figure wasn't tantalising. I was growing jealous of my friends who had “items” with sleek, prim figures! Shite.. I was in a mess. My “item” also was dumb. She had a monotonous monophonic sound just like a 1920's landline model. But yes, i must agree that she was very very good at playing games. Whenever we would be alone, she and i used to play. It used to be soo much fun! And guess what, we enjoyed the games so much that we would play them even in crowded buses when no one would even understand what we were upto!



And yes, she was a total s*** at times. Used to seduce everyone to playing games with her. And what games you know! I'd better bury myself in shame than tell those games! And shameless friends of mine, used to respond to that ...... Forget it. But the best part about her was to see my “item” without the cover. Woah! She was HOT then! Literally burning HOT! I still remember once when Romy caught me playing with her inner parts, he said.. “Baap hai re, Mereko bhi aisihi chahiye!” :| I obviously didn't like it. He even took her in his hands then and there! Yuck! Now guess what type of an “item” she was for me.



It's hard to praise stuff about things you don't like but still she had some charisma and charm to her! I do remember Sid and Vikas coming up to me and saying, “Hey! Mereko dega paanch sau mein?!” Sheesh! These guys.. argh..



Now enough of bitching about my now ex-item. I tell you what i think many people must be unaware of. She had a bloody flashlight up the hole. The only thing that differentiated her from my other friends' items! I'll always love you though, my old “item” a.k.a. “Chunni” or in layman's terms, Nokia 1100.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

The Old, Familar faces..

A poem by Charles Lamb. I love it just because of the fact that it gives anyone a ray of hope.. to reach the horizon before the sun totally sets. There was once a time in all our lives when those old, familiar faces would turn back at us and give a sweet smile, a million dollar smile that defined “Life” at its very best! Today, I might lose all my friends because we may not stay in touch after school. But yes, I will always be content with the fact that i once had them as friends and that i may meet them again, all the Old Familiar faces..

The Old Familiar Faces

I HAVE had playmates, I have had companions,
In my days of childhood, in my joyful school-days--
All, all are gone, the old familiar faces.

I have been laughing, I have been carousing,
Drinking late, sitting late, with my bosom cronies--
All, all are gone, the old familiar faces.

I loved a Love once, fairest among women:
Closed are her doors on me, I must not see her--
All, all are gone, the old familiar faces.

I have a friend, a kinder friend has no man:
Like an ingrate, I left my friend abruptly;
Left him, to muse on the old familiar faces.

Ghost-like I paced round the haunts of my childhood,
Earth seem'd a desert I was bound to traverse,
Seeking to find the old familiar faces.

Friend of my bosom, thou more than a brother,
Why wert not thou born in my father's dwelling?
So might we talk of the old familiar faces--

How some they have died, and some they have left me,
And some are taken from me; all are departed--
All, all are gone, the old familiar faces.

Charles Lamb




I leave school. Friends. Teachers. Don't want to be melodramatic but, yes, I will miss them so much. Seems as if I'm abandoning life. Everyone has to move. It's about the survival of the fittest. You've got to survive this mad race. I'm ready to move on, move on with a hope of meeting and rejoicing with the old familiar faces again.. the paradox is that my heart, my soul is still in those empty corridors, noisy classrooms, the open ground...

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Take a bow, Mr. Soderling!

He came. He saw. He DID conquer. A storm had just hit France. It did the unimaginable. It, or better “He”, beat the king of clay himself! The storm was named “Robin Soderling”! His preys included the great, seemingly invincible Rafael Nadal, Nikolay Davydenko (who i feel looks like a “gora jaadu”) and David Ferrer en route the final.


Eventually, he was beaten by Federer but the main highlight of his dream run was the speech given by him after his defeat at the hands of the great Federer. Sportsmanship at it's best. That speech, according to me was the perfect speech anyone could give after losing a final to arguably the finest player in the history of Tennis. Some of the excerpts were..


“...Yesterday, my coach and I sat down and analised.. I wont lose to a person 10 times in a row.. After today, I promise that i won't lost to a person 11 times in a row..”


Addressing Federer at the presentation ceremony, Soderling added: "You really gave me a lesson on how to play tennis today.


"For me you're the greatest player in history so you really deserved to win this title."

“I had the two best weeks of my career. Roger is a really worthy winner."




To me, Soderling is a winner. He always will be. Maybe, I will always associate his name with the French Open. Underdog, fluke, party-pooper. The words you will associate him with. Sportsmanship, the one word with which i associate Soderling. The only word. Take a bow, Mr. Soderling!

Friday, June 5, 2009

Dilemma.. Finally resolved!

There are times in life when you never know whom to trust and whom not to. You want to make decisions. Vital ones. Just the fact that you don't have the guts or maybe the determination to choose one of the paths, the one which you fell is right.

Today, 2nd June 2009, I stand at exactly such a junction in my life. Maybe this article will be irrelevant to you or me tomorrow. But i only hope that it will be relevant to someone else, some other time.

It was 1st of June, 2009. A Resonance lecture. Mr. Parnami gives a mind boggling speech. My ISC plan is suddenly seeming useless. He's using his best convincing skills to dissuade me from joining ISC. I want to join ISC, I want to clear IIT-JEE. Parallel! They cannot exist together. A class full of people agree. “You don't get time to study!”, “The syllabus is tough” are some reasons. I listen without uttering a word. I'm confused. 31 students and 1 professor agree. Only i disagree. My point is simple, it is the student and not the college that makes an IIT-ian. If you are good, everything turns out to be good. All of a sudden, i seem foolish to myself for even thinking of such ideas!


I return home. Long Face. Mom spots something. She talks to me. She wants me to do ISC. I'm still not convinced. Even Dad tries, I still don't feel any less hopeless. What do I do.. the biggest question ahead of me. IIT- Dream, Goal, Option or Life? Time to decide! My thoughts wander. I fall asleep. The dilemna persists..


Next morning, i wake up. The college topic somewhere in the back of my mind. Mom asks me about my decision. I'm confused as ever. I call my friends up. All of their views differ from mine. My brain wants ISC. My mind wants ISC. The fear of falling behind the students who have ample of time to study is making my mind go irrational.


The other students, study day in, day out. They don't have to go to college. Sit at home. Study. No problems. Pretty cool. The problem with me is, I am one hell of a philosophical freak. I wanted a better question to be answered. Why do i live when I have absolutely nothing to look forward to in the whole day, or a whole month, or maybe even more, the whole damned year! I want a reason to live. Be it friends, football or whatever.


I think over it. I contemplate again and again. Will i fall behind?! Do i have the resolute needed!? Am i fit enough to be an IIT-ian!? I answer to myself, “ Who am i not to be!?”! Yes! I have my answer at last..! I will live life the better way and still not give up my IIT dream! It is me and not some stupid prof to judge my caliber!


Sadly, i agree that neither my guts nor my willingness to take a decision helped me out of this dilemma. It was something else. A trick of Fate you may say. Or a gust of fortune. Whatever it was, it sure was good! A piece of of the article from an unknown guy that perhaps might have changed my outlook towards things forever and ever..


“We can either be stubborn and get stuck up in a world less known for it's realism, or break open into society and accept what it wants. I wouldn't want to do a thing like that. i wouldn't be much concerned, what i would want to choose. What would concern me is, what i do eventually about it. Any choice you make, makes you learn, and be a better person. No two choices are always kept aloof from each other. At some point, everything comes down-to you. And if, you are the one holding the reins, then it's no point caring whom to listen to. Do it. Experience. And, let time take you ahead.

I don't know, how many actually would want to believe me. I don't know, if people would want me to regret my decisions. But all i know is, finally in the end, all that would matter is. ME. My life, and my destiny...”


Thank You Mr. Anurag Mohan (Owner of that blog) ! Thank You Mr. Pratik Parekh (IIT Kanpur, 2nd year mechanical) ! Thanks a million.