Old “Item” - An elegy.

Dedicated to all those who were so used to seeing me with my old “item”.. including family, friends, and others.



“Item” you could call her. Or maybe “Chunni” as i used to. Whatever you call her, I may tell you frankly that i was deeply in love with her! Agreed, she wasn't as hot or spicy as my friend's items but yet i loved her a lot. A LOT! She was just so... uhhh.. WOW! I mean, I could spend my whole day with her and still not get tired. But then, all good things must come to an end and so did our relationship. Ironically I dumped her. The reason- My perceptions about her changed.


My perceptions after all the “love” crap ended.. Her teeth weren't white anymore. Infact there was not even a shade of blue tooth! She was black and white. I mean black all over with white in patches. Just like you get when you put pieces of paneer in Dal Makhani. :(( Even my Old “Item”'s figure wasn't tantalising. I was growing jealous of my friends who had “items” with sleek, prim figures! Shite.. I was in a mess. My “item” also was dumb. She had a monotonous monophonic sound just like a 1920's landline model. But yes, i must agree that she was very very good at playing games. Whenever we would be alone, she and i used to play. It used to be soo much fun! And guess what, we enjoyed the games so much that we would play them even in crowded buses when no one would even understand what we were upto!



And yes, she was a total s*** at times. Used to seduce everyone to playing games with her. And what games you know! I'd better bury myself in shame than tell those games! And shameless friends of mine, used to respond to that ...... Forget it. But the best part about her was to see my “item” without the cover. Woah! She was HOT then! Literally burning HOT! I still remember once when Romy caught me playing with her inner parts, he said.. “Baap hai re, Mereko bhi aisihi chahiye!” :| I obviously didn't like it. He even took her in his hands then and there! Yuck! Now guess what type of an “item” she was for me.



It's hard to praise stuff about things you don't like but still she had some charisma and charm to her! I do remember Sid and Vikas coming up to me and saying, “Hey! Mereko dega paanch sau mein?!” Sheesh! These guys.. argh..



Now enough of bitching about my now ex-item. I tell you what i think many people must be unaware of. She had a bloody flashlight up the hole. The only thing that differentiated her from my other friends' items! I'll always love you though, my old “item” a.k.a. “Chunni” or in layman's terms, Nokia 1100.